Hands to Heaven

Hey guys!
I miss you guys so so so so much! I'm still doing good with the home sickness but I struggled last night. I know I'm not here to make friends but I have yet to meet someone I click with. It's probably for the best since God has been trying again...and again..and again...to get me to focus solely on him and not anything else. I"m also having trouble with my race issues again. Many of you know I have a very hard time getting close to white people recently because I've started dealing with incidents where white people have caused me pain. If you are my friend and you are white, you are very special. lol. There aren't many. At this house there is only one resident who is a woman of color. I'm excited though because it's the opportunity for me to grow, forgive and transform into what God wants me to be.

There is so much I wish I had time to tell you everything I've learned. Here are some of my greatest lessons thus far:
-I'm ok with not clicking as fast as I want with the girls as quick as other new girls are because they will love me for my heart and not my personality. I always feel people love me for my personality or looks and not my heart so this will be a good experience.
-I have an addiction to worry, reasoning, ministry...yes, ministry.

You may be wondering how someone has become addiction to ministry. I found ever since I got to M----, I'm constantly thinking how I can use this material for future talks or my ministry in trafficking prevention. God is not going to work through me until he works ON me. Also, my time spent working on ministries, church stuff, has replaced my time with God. This hole using all this M---- stuff for myself, I'm constantly having to change my way of thinking. Which is exactly what they want you to do here.

I know I've only been here a week (yay!), but it feels like an eternity. But now that I have something of substance (i.e. one week) it will go by faster.

We are still reading the same book, Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It's so good!

On saturday we went to the projects and helped at a carnival there a church had put together. There the kids received dental screenings, shoes, rode rides, free food and snowcones, and played games. They also had a few music artists perform. Y'all know I love that type of stuff! There were about 10,000 people there.

We are doing a video series called The Bait of Satan . ***I think AJ, Kenny, Chico, Dominique, and Javonte should watch it. You'll see why.

We got to go to a placed called the muny. It's an outdoor ampitheater in St. Louis. We got to see a msucial called "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." It was fun. Next Monday we go see "Bye, Bye, Birdie". Evidently we go study stuff from Financial Peace University. I"m so excited!

Big news: I found out we get to meet Joyce Meyer in September!!!! We are VIP at her conference. The founder of M---, N.A. will be speaking.  Also, I only get to make two phone calls on Sunday. If you are waiting on me to call you it may not happen for a few months since I can only call Two people a week. THe number you can call me at is listed at the top of the blog.

If you need the physical address to send packages, call the number and ask for it. I can't list it on here. They don't like packages mailed to the P.O. box.

If you're wanting to send gifts, do not me send me books! Lol. Everyone keeps getting me those. I don't have the room. Gift cards to walmart or target or visa gift cards are perfect. We shope there on Fridays. Forever Stamps are good too!

Also if anyone has a digital camera I can borrow while I'm here, let Kristin Barnes know. (kristinelizabethbarnes@gmail.com)

If you send a media card with it, it must be blank.


Prayer Requests: For me to stay focused, encouragement, my pride to lower and my trust to increase.

Love you and miss you!
Anna

7/27/11

Hi friends,
I miss you all very much! It's only been two days. The reality of this program didn't hit me until I got to the building. My home sickenss for you guys has been next to unbearable. I'm crying constantly missing you all.

This place is extremely structured. I had my first group and individual counseling today. In group we are reading/watching videos about the book Safe People by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It is not at all what I expected. I really encourage the gso saints to check it out It's perfect for the type of relationship stuff you are trying to work on.

The facility is nice...really nice. It looks like a hotel inside! My roommate is cool She has a child like corny personality like me so it works out well. The girls are nice. There is not really a way for drama to happen because they designate everything. No borrowing stuff. Assigned shower times. Assigned shower stalls and bathroom stalls. Name tags on everything.

We went to the YMCA today and worked out. We go to the mall Friday and help at a community function Saturday. "Love the neighborhood." We will be handing out water bottles.


My greatest struggle is my home sickness.  I try to remember and remind myself God wants me here. I've already talked myself out of leaving a few times and it's only been 2 days. There is one girl here from NC and she can talk basketball ALMOST as god as me. We had worship this morning...SO GOOD. I have a hard time showing weakness in front of others so I am taking advantage of crying during services.

Sorry if this letter seems spastic. I've been writing in between classes and stuff. They keep us very busy. Today has been a lot  better about the homesickness. I had to make the decision to not let it effect me. I don't want to let anything distract me from this program. It was crazy how quick I got over something the second I let God have control. It feels really good.

I miss you guys,
Anna